It is disappointing how the term or idea of “feeling depressed” still remains to be commonplace, if not colloquial despite the increased awareness of the mental illness. In an attempt to reduce stigma and encourage support to those in need however, the resulting “acceptance” perhaps does more harm than good. It is one thing to show the afflicted that they are loved and cared for, to let them know that they are not alone – but it is another to subdue and pacify the all too real danger of death associated with depression.
When the “feelings of being depressed” begin to interfere with daily motions of life and disables one from functioning as a self-sufficient individual, the detrimental and hauntingly deadly aspect of depression becomes all too real. It is when one becomes enveloped by the cloak of the infinite darkness that is depression, and the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer is sight, and the once clear path of the tunnel is replaced by the abysmal darkness of depression, an endless void that extends in all directions.
It is not the bouts of hopelessness or spirals of self hate or doubt that are the most detrimental – it is when one loses the ability to simply function as a human being that it truly takes a toll. It is humiliating and crushes what little self respect they had left. Effortless motions such as simply brushing one’s teeth become daunting tasks which hold no purpose. They no longer tends to their basic physiological needs, as the self is no longer of value and psychological needs are nonexistent. Self care is a thing of the past and soon so is life.
It is difficult to admit that one needs help in such minuscule matters, when they are struggling to hold onto what little dignity they have and even more so to seek it. Gradually, they seem to slip away and what remains seem to be no more than the shell of a human being.
The support and care of loved ones may be the only thing that can anchor and guide them back to this realm … before they are gone for good.
However, it is one thing to provide support and help – but it is another to coddle and effectively enabling them to remain lingering between “recovery” and “health”.
Only when they become once again aware of the value of satisfying their own needs will they once again see them self as a human being that is worthy, one with with needs that can, should, and deserve to be fulfilled.
Be there for them, and be beside them as they struggle to put them self back into one piece – but don’t try to be the glue to hold them together.
Only when one no longer has the luxury of being cared for will they have no choice to once again learn how to do so, or fall back into the darkness. There is only so much we can do as bystanders, only they can make the decision to truly pursue life once again.
Being able and willing to care for oneself is the key to “recovery” – for if one does not value them-self as a human being, how will they ever learn to value their life?
Only you can be responsible for your wellbeing and happiness. Accept support but don’t become reliant on it – you are only stopping yourself from once again becoming and seeing yourself as one whole individual and not a helpless defenceless victim.
Others can guide and support you back to the path of life, but only you can chose to embark on it once again.
To change one’s destination or situation, one must first decide to leave their current place.
It may be uncomfortable, scary, or difficult – but if you don’t let go off that long redundant life line, you will never be able to take that step back into the path that is life, and you will forever be flirting with the demon that is depression as you continue to thread the line of denial doomed to snap and drop you into the abysmal pit of ____.