DISCLAIMER:

This image is a means of expression and is NOT an accurate, realistic or healthy portrayal of human anatomy. Please see the end of the post for the before/after.

I DO NOT promote or advocate unhealthy body images, and have gained much weight since then.

I’m sorry if you were upset by the images and kindly request you block this site and seek assistance.

AS FOR THOSE CONCERNED:

I’m ok.

I’m just an “artist” that can’t draw or paint or create.

Thank you for the concern <3

Reinforced Rejection & Projected Pernicious Perception.

Feelings of inferiority & worthlessness. Those that stem from being outcast, mocked, bullied and shamed. The engraved idea that you are lacking, less deserving, less lovable. That you are deficient, scarred, or otherwise damaged.

It’s easy to become consumed by this notion that you will always be an outsider, and that no one will ever understand your suffering. To be the permanent host of a lone pity party, forever juggling the roles of playing the victim and leading the vengeful crusade for justice as the selfless martyr. You become absorbed and obsessive, these unhealthy notions reinforced again and again as your (mostly) unconscious self-discrimination causes you to perceive to bear the same judgement.

Despite this stubborn belief that you will always be different, you still passively seek that one person that truly understands you, only to be disappointed as you ridicule yourself for having entertained the possibility of finding such a person in the first place.

You become bitter and scorned, resentful of those that seem oblivious to the suffering and pain of being the unwanted. This internalised rejection becomes projected onto the privileged, and you become further outraged by this blaring contrast between their display of blind, naïve happiness and your reality of all-seeing turmoil. In your eyes, only you truly see the world for what it is. Only you have truly experienced life.

As you are blinded by the rage at this disparity, and all-forsaken unfairness, you fail to remember that suffering comes in all shapes and forms, and that it is dealt with and resolved through countless mediums. The “popular girl” from primary school whose seemingly blasé love of designer purses and all things luxurious whom you sneer and scoff at in disdain? She may simply be masking the misery of mistreatment with photos of expensive gifts and happy smiles. The spoiled, extravagant playboy whose Facebook suggests a given life of champagne showers and effortless prowess on Facebook? He may have lived a life completely stripped of the experience of free will or the chance to meet, let alone discover his true self. Everyday, he fights to maintain the will to carry on as the shell of meat and bones, destined to be crushed by the suppression that accompanies this “privileged life”. 

Ofcourse, these are strictly hypothetical scenarios and not all cases are so dramatic or traumatic – but never forget that Resilience is built upon reconstructed, shattered fragments. No two people go through the same ordeals, and it is beyond foolish to judge another based on your own. Pray tell, if your suffering is as pernicious as you deem, why would you wish such calamity upon another?

Don’t be so quick to assume and discriminate, don’t become the judgmental prude you yourself disdain.

Not all who suffer chose to share their pain.

Not all who share truly suffer.

Neither makes either stronger nor weaker than the other, as no one life is like another.

Each and every one person faces conflicts of different forms, and likewise, each and every survivor is unlikely to document such through the same means. Some may simply brush them aside as ordinary happenings; some may become resentful and vindictive; some may wear their scars as trophies; whilst others may simply choose to store such experiences in the depths of their minds, as reminders of lessons learnt and rivers crossed – their experience of their life as they have lived it.

Never allow your struggles to be invalidated by the malicious comments of others, for we all have our own paths to endeavour. One man’s struggle may seem minuscule to another, but that does not make it any less difficult for he who endures it.

Let go of the sick compulsion to compare and contrast, and live as though each moment is your last. Live as though your life is one that matters, regardless of perceived comparative value – and it will be one of wholesome actualisation. 22:41.

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