The Final? Verdict

In lieu of the long overdue and owed pile of content held back by indecisiveness… I have decided to “release” raw unadulterated previews of the albums that have piled up – whilst I hastily execute the decision to segregate the nsfw alter ego from the pseudo writer and once again abandon the unrealistic yearning for […]

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NUDES

Nudes. Sex. Porn. Free. These words easily grab our attention, don’t they? You probably figured out by now. I lied. I’m sorry. I’ve been AWOL in terms of media and I truly did not do this on purpose – I have been (as you probably figured out too) “dealing” with issues. (Again. Yeah. I’m tired of […]

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Let her cry

It is liberating to be able to cry unconfined by judgement, scrutiny or empathy. It should be encouraged; for one to be truly in touch with them-self. To be not only in touch with subconscious desires, thoughts and drives – but also emotions. To be able & willing to acknowledge them ; to be consciously […]

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Wean to be lean?

Sorry for the impromptu inactivity, instead of weaning off my medication I had (foolishly) decided to go cold turkey (again). Needless to say, that was a bad idea. I’m beginning to wonder if this was the cause of all of this, considering the timing, intensity and nature of my struggles which can actually be explained […]

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Vulnerable Resilience

I have a profound sense of admiration for women who can express their sexuality and individuality with class and personality – like @devilette, @nymphae.uk, @yusara_circus and @creepyyeha amongst countless others. They possess what I hopelessly yet ambivalently long and strive for, and much more. Of these 10 years, what little recollection that I have of […]

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Transparent

March 7, 2019 I’m grateful for the stash of instant noodles in my cupboards and the luxury of having a roof over my head with heat, electricity and Internet access – but apart from this all else is falling apart. I am struggling to maintain my fading grasp on will and consciousness. As of recently […]

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[TBC] #nobb no but/because

#nobb no more babying #nobb no more bullshit I know it’s difficult but she’s your mother. She’s doing it for you because she’s your mother. #nobb no more babying, no more bullshit, no more gaslighting, no more guilt trips. Emotional abuse is real, as is trauma. Motherhood is not an excuse. For every 125 men, […]

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Treatment and Therapy

The end goal is to live isn’t it. What if you don’t actually want to live. Not depressed. Just depleted of will or energy to justify all this meaningless purpose. Let me go, without blame or shame? Leave me some of that “dignity”? Don’t let me become an excuse for your nothingness? Please?

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(Over?)Awareness of Mental Illness

The general population is much more informed about mental illness nowadays compared to ten years ago, but is the awareness counterproductive? (Written February 3, 2019) For example, many say they are depressed and it is so commonplace that there are countless support lines and communities for it. But it seems as though this results in […]

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