No reason is acceptable; No exceptions are applicable; No excuses are viable. She needs help.. this is not just disgraceful it’s borderline downright pitiful how can we get her back You have until the end of the month. The end of the month is the hard deadline, no excuses – this has been gone too […]
And I have still been experiencing depersonalisation and derealisation. Funnily enough, things actually become more intense and vivid sporadically. Colours are of higher lucidity and edges are sharper and not as flat as the prior envisioned perceptions that were almost 2d. However the blanket of fear remains the constant between the two, it presses jutting […]
02:53-04:09 Entry 1 02:53-04:09 Entry 1 — Read on obsoulette.wordpress.com/2019/02/27/entry1/ I just found this “manuscript” on a site under the name obsoulette. I dare not read it. As of right now I’m trembling, frozen in place. They are shouting, yet there are no words. Shut up. Please. I beg you. Shut up.
I’ve been “ejected”. From my “body”. Even as “I” am typing this. It startled me. Frightens me. Hell I’m fucking terrified. I remember there was a time when this feeling when comforting. When it was the norm, my “default”. But now, it is no longer a comfortable blasé or nonchalant detachment – it is a […]
Own up to your choices Own up to your decisions Stop using others as a reason for your decisions Your intentions are yours and yours alone. – 13:24 | 08. 03. 2019 – I buy you food because I like seeing you satisfied after a good meal and it makes me feel happy knowing I […]
Please, don’t message me with any of the following: “How are you?” “How have you been?” “Are you feeling better?” I know you mean well, and I appreciate it, but please understand that I value honesty and integrity, in the name of respect for you and for me. When you ask such things you are […]
06:02. Thank you – be it an accident that landed you here, mm, patron, bentbox, or gossip. I’m not okay. But that’s ok. I’m willing to admit it, not only to myself but out loud I’m trying to make myself do ”what should be done” instead of stubbornly sticking to my resolve and determination of […]
The end goal is to live isn’t it. What if you don’t actually want to live. Not depressed. Just depleted of will or energy to justify all this meaningless purpose. Let me go, without blame or shame? Leave me some of that “dignity”? Don’t let me become an excuse for your nothingness? Please?
The general population is much more informed about mental illness nowadays compared to ten years ago, but is the awareness counterproductive? (Written February 3, 2019) For example, many say they are depressed and it is so commonplace that there are countless support lines and communities for it. But it seems as though this results in […]
I’m all for awareness and understanding but I can’t help but feel like this comes off as playing victim and painting the afflicted as weak and helpless – but that may be the denial in me. However, I would like to see it as my determination to retain responsibility and hence control – by being […]
It seems the little moments of triumph following what seems like clarity only last so long… those five minutes of honest self-appreciation and acknowledgement of what was and can be of the long forsaken and disdained confidence and mettle. It is truly heartbreaking when it takes more than an hour to recognise the overwhelmingly foreign […]
Scared, disoriented, overwhelmed, terrified, mournful, wronged, disrespected, neglected, abused. Can not recognise any postings in social media etc, very overwhelmed, sad and scared and dismal – upset at feeling that life had been hijacked, looking back at life that was stolen. Upset, disoriented but mindful and conscious of the d.i.d. Theory and hopeful this blog […]
Of the blaring similarities observable between thoughts and behaviours designated from my inner voices to my outward actions … and that of diagnostic hallmarks of certain illnesses in the DSM; traits and conditions specifically tailored to identity certain patterns…. specifically that of Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Dissociative Amnesia, DID & various characteristics that suggest a […]