How much is my soul worth to you?

To be honest, I’d like to think/believe my soul, or at least my content, is worth something. 

(Thank you to those of you that have somehow convinced me of this) 

My content is not paywalled for the sole purpose of income, but most importantly to be able to share openly without feeling too exposed/vulnerable and in turn, becoming once again discouraged and “censored”. I genuinely hope that I will be able to appease your curiosity/desires/expectations.

(04.28)So, what am I offering?
I am not selling you a tale of novel adventure, nor am I promising some marvellous feat of great deeds. What I offer is not some woeful tale of despair nor do I wish to paint you an image of pain so vivid it will remain scarred into your mind’s due, forever haunting. 
What I am offering is for you to join me as I scramble to gather, rediscover, and reconstruct the dissociated and fragmented bits and pieces that make up the shattered puzzle that is my life as I know it, and (gradually) “all” the “content” that date back to 2009 – photos, diary entries, flashbacks…(/04.28)

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As a member, access to various priced content is free & unrestricted, while contents restricted to higher tiers can be purchased with a complimentary discount. Exclusive feeds & hidden content are also available to higher tiers… with many more features to be updated

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Whatever the case, Thank You

Even if you decide not to join me, thank you for your time & I hope you find your way as I search for mine. As for those who do: thank you for being so supportive, patient and understanding with me whilst I figure all this out. Your support means more to me than you might think, more so as moral/psychological/mental support. Giving me hope and encouraging me to believe in what good you see in me. Convincing me that I’m somewhat useful(?) or maybe just another train wreck to amuse yourself with.

Every follower, supporter and patron truly touches my heart and soul, Thank You.

It may sound ridiculous but through your support, you are contributing to not only my ego but my health and wellbeing.

By giving me the incentive to create content, and dimming the stress of finances – You are giving me the strength and volition to actually take care of myself.

Ever since I began this journey, I have been gradually relearning self-care and perhaps self-love. I have begun to be once again conscious of my appearance and physical state that had been ridiculously unkempt and abandoned ever since my episode. You are forcing me to return to reality and be concerned about things other than the war in my head – something I never would have been able to do myself, the black hole of “self-healing” is an obsessive and hopeless quest, at the end of the day we must accept that we will be somehow incomplete no matter how we try to be whole. Life is the journey to fulfilling this limitless insatiable curiosity and desire that drives us to live.

There is no denying that when you start to care for your appearance, something that seems to be the worse thing one could do, considering the vain and precarious nature of this shallow presentation of insecurity. the simple act of caring inevitably triggers some sort of domino effect. The extraction of the mind’s awareness from the overbearing, claustrophobic compulsion to fix itself, a simple shift in attention, though seemingly an easy task, was the key for the prison door. Thank you.


TLDR Thank you for giving me something to pursue apart from the insatiable quest for sanity. Thank you for bringing me back.


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Full discretion: I am not creating pornographic material, nor am I implying so. 
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